作者:阿道司·赫胥黎
|类型:都市·校园
|更新时间:2019-10-06 11:38
|本章字节:12692字
yes,alileooable;heywererighamenalexcesshadproducedinhelmholzwasoneffecsverysimirohosewhich,inbernardmarx,wereheresulofaphysicaldefecoolileboneandbrawnhadisoedbernardfromhisfellowmen,andhesenseofhisaparness,being,byallhecurrensandards,amenalexcess,becameinisurnacauseofwiderseparaionhawhichhadmadehelmholzsouncomforablyawareofbeinghimselfandandallalonewasoomuchabiliywhahewomensharedwasheknowledgehaheywereindividualsbuwhereashephysicallydefecivebernardhadsufferedallhislifefromheconsciousnessofbeingseparae,iwasonlyquierecenlyha,grownawareofhismenalexcess,helmholzwasonhadalsobecomeawareofhisdifferencefromhepeoplewhosurroundedhimhisescaorsquashchampion,hisindefaigablelover(iwassaidhahehadhadsixhundredandforydifferengirlsinunderfouryears),hisadmirablecommieemanandbesmixerhadrealizedquiesuddenlyhaspor,women,communalaciviieswereonly,sofarashewasconcerned,secondbessreally,andaheboom,hewasineresedinsomehingelsebuinwha?inwha?hawasheproblemwhichbernardhadcomeodiscusswihhim–orraher,sinceiwasalwayshelmholzwhodidallhealking,olisenohisfrienddiscussing,yeoncemore
hreecharminggirlsfromhebureauofpropagandabysynheicvoicewayidhimasheseppedouofhelif
“oh,helmholz,darling,docomeandhaveapicnicsupperwihusonexmoor”heyclungroundhimimploringly
heshookhishead,hepushedhiswayhroughhem“no,no”
“we’renoinviinganyoherman”
buhelmholzremainedunshakenevenbyhisdelighfulpromise“no,”herepeaed,“i’mbusy”andheheldresoluelyonhiscoursehegirlsrailedaferhimiwasnoillhehadacuallyclimbedinobernard’spneandsmmedhedoorhaheygaveuppursuinowihoureproaches
“hesewomen!”hesaid,ashemachineroseinoheair“hesewomen!”andheshookhishead,hefrowned“ooawful,”bernardhypocriicallyagreed,wishing,ashespokehewords,hahecouldhaveasmanygirlsashelmholzdid,andwihaslileroublehewasseizedwihasuddenurgenneedoboas“i’makingleninacrowonewmexicowihme,”hesaidinaoneascasualashecouldmakei
“areyou?”saidhelmholz,wihaoalabsenceofinereshenaferalilepause,“hissweekorwo,”hewenon,“i’vebeencuingallmycommieesandallmygirlsyoucan’imaginewhaahulbaloohey’vebeenmakingabouiahecollegesill,i’sbeenworhi,ihinkheeffecs…”hehesiaed“well,hey’reodd,hey’reveryodd”
aphysicalshorcomingcouldproduceakindofmenalexcessheprocess,iseemed,wasreversiblemenalexcesscouldproduce,forisownpurposes,hevolunaryblindnessanddeafnessofdeliberaesoliude,hearificialimpoenceofasceicism
heresofheshorflighwasaccomplishedinsilencewhenheyhadarrivedandwerecomforablysrechedouonhepneumaicsofasinbernard’sroom,helmholzbeganagain
speakingveryslowly,“didyoueverfeel,”heasked,“ashoughyouhadsomehinginsideyouhawasonlywaiingforyouogiveiachanceocomeou?somesorofexrapowerhayouaren’using–youknow,likeallhewaerhagoesdownhefallsinseadofhroughheurbines?”helookedabernardquesioningly
“youmeanallheemoionsonemighbefeelingifhingsweredifferen?”
helmholzshookhishead“noquiei’mhinkingofaqueerfeelingisomeimesge,afeelinghai’vegosomehingimporanosayandhepowerosayi–onlyidon’knowwhaiis,andican’makeanyuseofhepowerifherewassomedifferenwayofwriing…orelsesomehingelseowrieabou…”hewassilen;hen,“yousee,”hewenonas,“i’mpreygoodainveningphrases–youknow,hesorofwordshasuddenlymakeyoujump,almosashoughyou’dsaonapin,heyseemsonewandexciingevenhoughhey’reabousomehinghypnop?dicallyobviousbuhadoesn’seemenoughi’snoenoughforhephrasesobegood;whayoumakewihhemoughobegoodoo”
“buyourhingsaregood,helmholz”
“oh,asfarasheygo”helmholzshruggedhisshoulders“buheygosuchalilewayheyaren’imporanenough,somehowifeelicoulddosomehingmuchmoreimporanyes,andmoreinense,moreviolenbuwha?whaisheremoreimporanosay?andhowcanonebeviolenabouhesorofhingsone’sexpecedowrieabou?wordscanbelikexrays,ifyouusehemproperly–hey’llgohroughanyhingyoureadandyou’repiercedha’soneofhehingsiryoeachmysudens–howowriepiercinglybuwhaonearh’shegoodofbeingpiercedbyanaricleabouacommuniysing,orheesimprovemeninscenorgans?besides,canyoumakewordsreallypiercing–youknow,likeheveryhardesxrays–whenyou’rewriingabouhasorofhing?canyousaysomehingabounohing?ha’swhaifinallyboilsdownoiryandiry…”
“hush!”saidbernardsuddenly,andlifedawarningfinger;heylisened“ibelievehere’ssomebodyahedoor,”hewhispered
helmholzgoup,ipoedacrossheroom,andwihasharpquickmovemenflunghedoorwideopenherewas,ofcourse,nobodyhere
“i’msorry,”saidbernard,feellingandlookinguncomforablyfoolish“isupposei’vegohingsonmynervesabiwhenpeoplearesuspiciouswihyou,yousarbeingsuspiciouswihhem”
hepassedhishandacrosshiseyes,hesighed,hisvoicebecamepinivehewasjusifyinghimself“ifyouknewwhai’dhadopuupwihrecenly,”hesaidalmosearfully–andheuprushofhisselfpiywaslikeafounainsuddenlyreleased“ifyouonlyknew!”
helmholzwasonlisenedwihacerainsenseofdiscomfor“poorlilebernard!”hesaidohimselfbuahesameimehefelraherashamedforhisfriendhewishedbernardwouldshowalilemorepride
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